March 18, 2013 § 14 Comments
I have been bloggy boring even myself lately.
I have a mildly decent excuse, though, I guess. Non-internets life got in the way.
Somehow, despite recently quitting my only paying (very) part-time job, I have managed to stay really busy off of the internet, and it’s actually felt marvelous. Now that I’m home more often, it took me awhile to figure out how to be not “at work” and to be still working. When I was in classes it was easier, because there were deadlines. But now I have no hard deadlines, and the ones I set for myself just aren’t anxiety-provoking enough to get me moving.
I’m home two days a week now. These days are supposed to be research days – days during which I am focused on manuscripts and my dissertation. Of course, instead of writing, I often surf the web, do the laundry and other household chores (that I typically don’t do unless I’m avoiding doing something else), and read all of your lovely blogs.
All of the sudden, over the last few weeks, I’m finding myself better able to concentrate than since before my miscarriage in October. That was a real productivity killer, let me tell you. I don’t suppose it will last indefinitely, but I am immensely thankful that it’s happening and am trying to take advantage of it while it’s here.
In other news, I ovulated during the middle of last week and am now 5 dpo. Over the last six months or so, I’ve been using a lot of cycle imagery. You can call it hocus pocus if you’d like. But I find it’s a powerful coping mechanism. It works for me. Lately I’ve been picturing an embryo traveling down my fallopian tubes, and I sometimes talk to it (not out loud yet, thank god), offering encouraging words. It’s kind of like I would do if I was cheering on an exhausted marathon runner at mile 21. You’re almost there! Hang in there! Put one foot in front of the other!
Here, drink this water! If there is indeed an embryo in there, it should be nearing the end of my fallopian tubes very soon and descending upon the entry to my uterus. Make it happen terbs.