Or not to test (9dpiui#2)

June 18, 2013 § 35 Comments

My pee is in a cup on top of my toilet right now and I am dangerously close to dipping something in it.

I hesitate to even type this out, but I freaking feel pregnant. I’m waking up all night, my boobs look like those surgical gloves after you blow them up (minus the fingers and the rest of the hand shape). I’ve had hot flashes on and off all day for the last two days.

Now, I am all about research and I believe the research that says that I should not be feeling pregnancy symptoms at this point even if I were, in fact, pregnant. But I also know that I felt this exact same trio of symptoms the first time I was pregnant, and I did not feel them before nor have I felt them since.

It’s too early to test. And if I test and it’s negative I will be crushed. I fully recognize that this is a big one. It’s this or IVF. I am extremely imaginative, and I would not put it past my body to go all psychosomatic all over my shit and create these symptoms when there is nothing there.

I don’t want to test, but I can’t stop thinking about it. And the Artsy Engineer is not helping. He’s been telling me since the day after the IUI that he just “has a feeling” that this is it. I know that when he gets home from work, he’s going to stick that test stick in the urine himself if I let him have access to it.

I know it’s early enough that if when I get a negative (provided that I test today), I could still very well be pregnant. That I shouldn’t be immediately crushed. But my brain won’t let me believe that. If it’s negative today, it will feel over. And I’m not ready for that either.

So, I’m going to do my best to wait this out.

Advertisements

§ 35 Responses to Or not to test (9dpiui#2)

  • Aramis says:

    POUR OUT THAT PEE!!!

  • Amber says:

    Okay, you said yourself that it very well could be too early to test, so a negative does NOT mean its over. However, if its a positive…. It sounds like it could be your bfp!!!!! I don’t want to pressure you, but I’d love to see that stick! When you are ready of course. Haha!

  • redbluebird says:

    I agree with Aramis, pour it out! I understand the urge (and hesitation), but even if it’s positive, it will likely be a squinter at 9 dpiui. And then you have to ponder “is it a line or isn’t it!?” And then you’ll have to dig it out of the trash later to see if it’s changed. I say wait a day or two 🙂

  • Jane Allen says:

    Agree with Amaris -flush it! My co-worker had a BFN on day #9 and had the faintest line on day 13 -and she has twins pending! I hold out as I don’t want to have the false hope of an early negative.

    • this is why i hesitate. actually, if i knew that particular thing would happen, i wouldn’t hesitate. i’d take the false negative. it’s the other more likely result after a day #9 BFN that is holding me back.

  • while I don’t think you should test (YET)… I am SO cheering you on from my kitchen table. I REALLY hope Artsy Engineer is right. I think he is 🙂

  • Sara says:

    I would recommend waiting. I am one of those crazy women who never tested early, through 3 IVF’s, I could not handle the thought of getting a false negative. Waiting is hard but at least you will not question the results.

  • Amanda says:

    I’m at EXACTLY the same place… thankful I don’t even have HPT’s in the house or I’d have lost this fight several days ago. Wishing you the best!

  • So hoping this is it!!!! But yes-I am on the do not test yet bandwagon.

  • Steph Mignon says:

    I agree with everyone who said to wait. Why torture yourself with a false positive? Fingers, toes, eyes, hair, and everything else crossed!

  • sarah says:

    Sore boobs were my first sign – and C also swore up and down that he “had a feeling”, that I just “seemed pregnant.” Our bodies are totally untrustworthy jerks at this point, so I totally feel you on the doubt and uncertainty. On the other hand… … sending good vibes, hugs, and (dare I say it?) BABY DUST. Ha.

    • ohhhh the baby dust. i’ve always been super weirded out by that term. it brings to mind all kinds of strange combinations of babies made of dust, dust that looks like microscopic babies, dust made from baby parts. but never what it is supposed to mean. right now, though, i want to bath in it, regardless of its etiology.

  • Steph Mignon says:

    Ahhhh I meant false negative! Doh.

  • Daryl says:

    I am not one to give advice on stick-peeing, since I so rarely do it myself. But maybe you should wait a few days, just so you know, whatever the test reveals at that point, that it’s going to be accurate. No sense bumming yourself out with an early negative if it ends up being your BFP in a couple of days!

    • this is certainly the logical option! and the one that i subscribe to most of the time; however, it is currently in a gruesome battle with my emotions. we are moment to moment in regards to who will come out victorious.

  • bustedoven says:

    DON’T DO IT! *smacks pee cup out of your hand*

    9DPIUI is so early. No good can come of this! When did you get your first positive with your last BFP? You gotta wait until then! (This is what I tell myself but then I break my own rules and then I get mad at myself for breaking my own rules, so if I could follow my own rules this is what I’d do. That said, I am already bargaining with myself over how early I will let myself test. IT’S SO HARD TO WAIT.) 🙂

    • ha! the image of you slapping a pee cup out of my hand made me laugh loudly in my dark living room (because it’s gotten dark but i’ve been glued to my computer and haven’t gotten up to turn on the light like a creepster). i am also of the give-advice-that-i-cannot-keep-myself variety. jeezachrist, this is difficult.

      • josefascherer says:

        I totally appreciate all of the rational, careful, thoughtful advice to throw out the pee.

        But.

        I’m saying- I couldn’t not do it. Not with the boobs and the last-time-it felt-like and the partner’s-funny-feeling and all the things. I couldn’t not. Just saying.

  • THROW OUT THE PEE! Wait at least a few more days to test so that you don’t have to squint or worry about it. I’m not a pee-er on sticks and waited until after my beta to take any sort of test. I simply didn’t want a false negative. Hold out- you can do it!

  • Just test already!! You’re giving me anxiety!!! Haha.

  • Janet says:

    Don’t do it!!! I did yesterday and I’ve been driving myself nuts analyzing the faint lines…driving myself crazy! Hang in there!

  • lydiaseeks says:

    I vote for waiting! Move the pee cups away from the toilet so you aren’t even tempted to capture it every morning when you wake up, at least for a few more days. You can do it! And good luck.

  • Jen K says:

    I also vote on waiting. But it’s so easy for us to “vote” in a comments section when you’ve got to live through the next 5 days fighting with yourself. Fingers crossed for you.

  • i can’t offer advice one way or the other. i go through this every month and usually give into weakness, test and am crushed. but i’m crushed when i don’t test too and AF begins. so really… i’m no help on this one. i am curious to know what you did though.

  • Gypsy Mama says:

    Try to hold out a little longer my friend!! That way you only have to go through the emotions of testing once and you know whatever result you get is the truth. I hope the Artsy Engineer’s feelings are right 🙂

  • YeahScience! says:

    I also support waiting until closer to 12 days after. You want a clear yes or no, in my opinion… and also, consider these next few days an opportunity to keep the hope alive. I don’t know… on the one hand, I feel really good about this cycle of yours; but on the other, I had crazy strong pregnancy symptoms after one of my IUIs and it turned out to be absolutely nothing. If you can hold out another couple days, do it!

Help a sister out?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading Or not to test (9dpiui#2) at lamenting the lentil.

meta

%d bloggers like this: