Relief, perhaps?

August 15, 2013 § 22 Comments

But not the ultimate. No ultrasound this morning.

The bleeding stopped as abruptly as it started. The red turned lighter, then to a light brown. And within the hours it was completely gone. No cramping. Clean toilet paper. Nothing.

The nurse sounded relieved and optimistic when I called her this morning. She told me that brief bleeding without cramping or clots is not a cause for concern. She said that the progesterone suppositories I’ve been using for 6 weeks now can make the cervix especially sensitive. And according to my research, twins can mean more progesterone, which can mean now bleeding. The nurse said that this type of brief bleeding could happen here and there throughout the pregnancy and that it could mean nothing. I believe her. (And I believe all of you, my dear dear sisterfri.) But with reservations.

Since last week’s incredibly surprising ultrasound, I have experienced a vast smorgasbord of thoughts and emotions about carrying and caring for two children. Most of them were lovely lovely thoughts. And, I think reasonably, a couple were on the holy shit spectrum. But nearly all of them were drenched in this sticky, warm optimism that came from god knows where. I really didn’t seriously question the continued development of these babies. It was such an awesome feeling.

So. Have I jumped to being terrified that this pregnancy is over? No, though I was last night. Waking up to no more blood has left me hopeful.

But. Holy shit. The blissful curtain of optimism is gone. I’ve been knocked down a solid several rungs on the ladder. I’ve got nothing but faith in my body (the one that up to now has SUCKED at all things related to babymaking) to rely on until my scheduled ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I’m on my way to Canada now for our family reunion, and I’m really glad to be going. There will be about 40 people there, and the alternative  (my dissertation) is a sorry distraction by comparison.

Thank you, dearly, for all of your sweet words over the last 24 hours. And for sharing in our shock and surprise at the two babies news. What a freaking rollercoaster, you guys.


§ 22 Responses to Relief, perhaps?

  • Amanda says:

    Yay! What good news! So glad that the bleeding ended quickly! It sounds like everything is as it should be! Hope the reunion helps to pass the time quickly until Tuesday! Hang in there!

  • Sarah says:

    I can’t even imagine how scary that must have been, although I bet you’re experiencing something like a fear hangover this morning. I’m glad you’ve got distraction lined up for the weekend. Be well, dear lentil.

  • YeahScience! says:

    Wait, Canada?? Where are you coming to? Let me know if you’ll be in Toronto for any extended period of time… we could go shopping for onesies together! Very happy to hear the bleeding has stopped — honestly, though, some women bleed ALL through their pregnancies and everything turns out fine, and it’s even more common in the first trimester, so if it does come back, don’t freak out. Also, things get easier and easier as each week goes by… seeing heartbeats is a major relief, getting to the NT scan is an even bigger relief, etc. etc. So just distract yourself as much as possible for now!

    • Aramis says:

      Seconded! Let us know if you’re anywhere near here! I think I might even be able to handle my jealousy of being around two pregnant ladies if it meant hanging out with you guys. 😉 Super glad to hear the bleeding is stopped and you’re feeling a bit more confident.

  • julieb79 says:

    Whew! So glad the bleeding stopped and you’ve got a nice distraction coming to keep you occupied for awhile. I know what you mean about the curtain of optimism being lifted. I never really had it … even though I have had no scares and no real reason to doubt this pregnancy will be viable, I’m still in disbelief at 16 weeks that this is seriously gonna happen. I probably won’t until I’m holding the baby in my arms. I used to be very anxious about that fact and now I’m trying to take the tack of just sitting back and watching to see if this really happens – somehow that’s less emotional investment and worry. More curiosity and wonder.

    Hope you have a great time in Canada!

  • phew. glad to hear everything is “back to normal” (bahaha, right??) have a relaxing weekend, if at all possible. you deserve it!

  • Have so much fun. And rest well. I’m sure the two bundles of joy are in perfect condition ☺

  • I need you to know that I’ve been frantically checking your blog all morning from my phone because I was so worried about you (and now this comment is coming to you from my phone, so I hope it even works). SWEET RELIEF! I am so happy to hear that everything is ok and that the bleeding stopped so quickly. Also, thanks for updating us! The suspense was making me nutsy. Now go enjoy your reunion and remember to keep breathing!

  • Sadie says:

    Such relief! So glad things are looking up and the bleeding appears to have been just a minor scare. Have a great time at your reunion and say hello to my home and native land for me!

  • Whew. I for one, have great faith in your body. It will only do good things from here forward. Have a great trip!

  • bustedoven says:

    SO GLAD to hear this, I was sweating it out for you all night. And being with family for a few days is a great place to be — hopefully you will feel comforted and distracted and safe.

    And related to the 2 babies thing, I would totally be thinking lots of holy shit thoughts!! But you will be great and amazing.

    Sending all the love!!!

  • nonsequiturchica says:

    Yay for just a quick bleed. Obviously no bleed would have been better, but we’ll take a short one. Have a great time this weekend and try to bring back some of that optimism.

  • SM says:

    I’m so glad to hear the bleeding has stopped! Keep your head up, friend! The optimism will come and go but just hold on to today. You are pregnant today and that’s enough for now. Thinking of you.

  • Amber says:

    I’m so glad to hear the bleeding stopped and it only lasted briefly. I spotted from 6 weeks to 9 weeks straight, and then one day it just stopped and I haven’t seen a speck of blood or anything since. It is scary, scary, scary to be pregnant after so long of trying. I wish that you were able to get in for an u/s just for peace of mind, but I am SO happy you have such a great distraction over the weekend to make Tuesday come faster. Tuesday isn’t really that far away. I hope you have a fantastic time with your family. Can’t wait for Tuesdays update!

  • Jenny says:

    So relieved to hear this! Have a great time at the reunion and take extra special care of yourself.

  • Daryl says:

    What a relief! I’m so glad the bleeding stopped & you’re on your way to a wonderfully distracting weekend away!

  • JustMe says:

    Oh god, I missed this until after the entire thing was over. I’m so sorry! Sorry I missed it and sorry it happened. But SO happy that you are better and feeling well!!

    A few words of comfort: The same thing happened to my friend at around six weeks who is pregnant with twins. She had her NT scan today and all is wonderful. And then there’s me. My bleeding was horrrendous and terrible and thought to be a miscarriage. And now? Fine, fine, fine. So, even though it’s horrifying, there are tons of stories of it being “just fine.”

  • sandlcyr says:

    Whew. I hope that’s your only experience with bleeding during pregnancy. I had spotting for 10 days straight right at 4 weeks, and again for a more brief period at 8 weeks. I truly believe it was just a fluke of hormones as it came right on schedule as it normally would each month. My doctor said most likely it was my cervix. Haven’t had any bleeding since 8 weeks and I’m now 18. I hope so much that you will be able to say the same very soon, and that your babes are 100% at your scan on Tuesday! (sorry if this is a duplicate post… having some issues posting this morn.)

  • Libby says:

    I had a very similar episode of bleeding. Stopped, never came back, she’s fast asleep upstairs right now. Hugs and FX

  • Sasigirl says:

    Oh Lentil! So super happy the bleeding went away! I was so worried when you didn’t update the post on FF! Great news, enjoy your time away with family! Sounds luff-ley!

  • bustedoven says:

    Really, really hoping you saw 2 healthy beans this morning. Thinking about you!

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