I WANT TO HEAR YOU, BABIES!

September 10, 2013 § 27 Comments

I have had a fetal doppler occupying my ebay watch list for the last month or so, but I’ve been able to avoid it buying it because of any number of reasons. For example. The babies are too low, too small, and it might get confusing with two. Most importantly, though, I will very likely have a hard time finding them at times and LOSE MY FREAKING MIND.

But. I do want to hear them. I want to be able to listen to them. Imagining them in there is good, but the heart beats would make it so much more real. And, probably equally as much (spoken like a true subfertile, or whatever), I want the reassurance. I am a sucker for reassurance these days.

I just don’t want this thing to cause more tears of fear than tears of tenderness. Like, right now, I am feeling pretty good about the fact that there are two live babies inside of me. But if I were to pull out a doppler and be unable to find them, it isn’t too hard to imagine that that feeling good would turn into feeling not so good. Feeling really neuroticallyhorribleawfulterrifiedhysterical.

But, again, on the other hand, if I had one I could hear them. Probably every day. I could pull the doppler out when Artsy Engineer and I are sitting on the couch after dinner, doing our down time thing, and they could join us for a little while. So maybe it’s worth it.

So, I don’t know, guys. PROCEED TO CHECKOUT or DELETE FROM CART?

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§ 27 Responses to I WANT TO HEAR YOU, BABIES!

  • Bryna says:

    PROCEED TO CHECKOUT! Best $60 I ever spent. The joy of hearing the baby far outweighs the fear that you won’t find it. Plus you have double the chances of hearing them since there are 2! Go for it 🙂 It has saved me my sanity on several occasions.

  • SM says:

    My doppler was a life saver in the first trimester and the first part of the second. I would have gone insane without it. I say go for it but be prepared for some days where you can’t find it!

  • J o s e y says:

    Ugh, I’m very conflicted on this. I avoided buying a doppler like the plague during my pregnancy with Stella b/c I was petrified of turning hysterical if I couldn’t find the HB. This time a friend offered to borrow me hers around 9w, and I couldn’t resist… then couldn’t find the HB, and that SUCKED ASS. I couldn’t find the HB until 12-13w I think (and neither could either of my close girlfriends who are pregnant)?

    It was awesome to have one from 13w-18w when I couldn’t feel him kicking yet (I’d let myself listen once a week for reassurance since nothing has been proven about the safety of doing repeated doppler ultrasounds)…but ya, if you can, I’d vote for delete from cart. It’s just not worth the stress when you can’t find it, esp when there are 2 in there, and you won’t know what you’re doing to try to delineate one from the other anyway.

  • this is a tough one. i’d go with your gut instinct. i have a feeling if i can ever keep a pregnancy i will be obsessed with getting a doppler to listen to whats in there daily.

  • redbluebird says:

    I vowed not to get one, but broke down and “proceeded to checkout.” I bought the inexpensive Angel Sounds one from Amazon (around $30), but not until 15 weeks. I’ve used it twice so far & found the heart beat both times. I’m only allowing myself to use it once a week (on weeks I don’t have an OB appt) because like Josey said, I’m not 100% convinced of it’s safety. And, I only use it until I find the heart beat & count the rate, then stop.
    If you can keep positive without one, I say skip it. But I can get myself very worked up sometimes, and it does really reassure me. I’m hesitant to use it on the weekends when I can’t make a frantic call to my doctor though (just in case I can’t find the hb)!

  • buy, but remember you wont’ be able to hear them via Doppler until week 10-12, and make sure you have aloe vera, acts as lubricant for doppler

  • Sara says:

    Delete from cart! My OB doesn’t us a Doppler because she said it is hard to find twins with one. She always does a quick ultrasound when I go in so we can see the heartbeats. I also have a long ultrasound at the hospital every month. She knows I would loose it if she had trouble finding them so she doesn’t even try with a Doppler.

  • missymakes says:

    I’ve been holding back from buying them. Right now, they’re physically do close together and their heartbeats are so close in bpm that I know I wouldn’t be able to distinguish them and I’d freak out that I lost a baby. By the time they’re big enough to be much farther apart, it’ll be about that time that you can feel twins start kicking. For my own sanity, I’m resisting for now.

  • julieb79 says:

    I definitely understand the desire, but would hold back for all the reasons stated above, plus the fact that you’d probably only get a good month to two months’ use out of it, before you’d start to feel movement and then it would be unnecessary. Not buying a doppler has helped me to trust the process of baby-percolating better and have more faith in my body. Not being a religious person, faith has never been a thing I have valued but I see now that even in a secular context it is a great mental strength to develop. Just think – every week you pass, the odds get stronger and stronger in your favor that all will be well.

    If you have to cave though, try craigslist first for a better deal. Ebay ain’t what it used to be for bargains! I’m finding all kinds of half-off or better deal on baby stuff, and in great if not nearly new condition…

  • K says:

    Lol. I waited to get mine I think until 12 weeks for the same reasons. When I did get it, I made sure to not obsess and only use it once a week, or if something felt off. It was great to have because I couldn’t feel these two moving until 22+ weeks and it just made me feel better to know there they were. If I couldn’t find them right away (which did happen a few times), I would step away, go eat and try again later. I’m amazed at how calm I was with the monitor (not obsessive-total opposite of my personality lol).
    I actually need to sell mine on eBay lol.

  • Gypsy Mama says:

    Delete, Delete!!! My cousin had some MAJOR breakdowns with not being able to find the heartbeat with hers. Also, I don’t like the idea of extra ultrasounds if they aren’t necessary, but maybe I am just too hippy and I also don’t understand how the doppler works as compared to an ultrasound.

    Either way, good luck Mama!

  • Amber says:

    I have a doppler at home, but honestly, it has probably caused more stress than relief. Being able to hear their heartbeats is pretty amazing, but it is super stressful if you can’t find them. Also stressful when you can’t get it to come in very clearly and don’t know for SURE if what you are hearing is the heartbeat. I’m torn on the advice to give, because I am grateful for the doppler, but at the same time it has also caused some stress that is hard to step away from.

  • sandlcyr says:

    I never got one so I can’t tell you about my experience with one other than at the doctor’s office. I will say it was nerve wracking to not feel much of anything (not even nausea) between 12-16 weeks so I would imagine being able to use a doppler would have helped with that. And during that time frame it would be completely possible to find the hb. I started feeling movement at 16 weeks so I felt a lot better then. If you decide not to and you can settle for a “rerun” instead of a live show… DH and I took a recorder from Build A Bear to one of our appointments and recorded the fetal heart beat with our doctor’s doppler, then had it put into a little doggie we built together in the store. I can push his little belly any time I want to hear the bub’s hearbeat, recorded of course, but I enjoy it a lot!

  • 2dognite says:

    This is a tough one. My friend – a fellow infertile – says it helps her keep her sanity. She listens every day and has since 7.5 weeks. I didn’t know it was possible to hear then, but hey, worked for her. My sister, a nurse, uses a professional-non-Amazon-ebay doppler at work occasionally and said that even she has on some occasions not been able to find the heartbeat. In her words, “Had I not just felt the baby kick, I would have been worried.” Since I’m far from feeling kicks, I don’t think my scrambled subfertile mind could handle it!

    • 2dognite says:

      You knew I’d take this one back, right? I’m borrowing a friend’s doppler because I’m having a total nervous day. I’m a giant liar.
      Also, I just found out that my sister has an anterior placenta which could explain not finding the HB, though many people report the same.

  • YeahScience! says:

    Hmm… it’s kind of an individual choice. I decided against it because my OB said that not only will you freak out if you can’t hear the heartbeat when it’s actually there, you could also hear your own heartbeat and mistake it for your baby’s and fear it’s too slow or whatever. Plus, as others have noted, you’re really only able to use it as of week 12 or 13, and you’ll be feeling the babies move as of week 18 (or, with twins, probably earlier)… so for a few weeks, is it really worth it? Meh.

  • Of course you have to do what feels right to you… but I say delete. I’ve heard that even though we can’t hear anything from the ultrasounds and dopplers, that internally it’s crazy loud. Like louder than a rock concert loud. And all that extra noise is probably not good for those developing babies.

  • Daryl says:

    I’ve gone back and forth on this much the same way you have. I think I’ve decided against it (for now, at least) because of my tendency to obsess over things like this. Also, my new OB used the doppler for the first time at my appointment yesterday, and it took him a few minutes to find the hb, so I figure, what chance do I have? Which, I fear, would lead to a total meltdown. Of course, I say this after getting weekly ultrasounds up until last week. We’ll see how I feel next week, after I start to go into u/s and doppler withdrawal. Do whatever you think will work best for you.

  • Am currently 22 wks and was really considering it BUT my way of thinking is….. Nature and my body would find a way to tell me all was not ok if that happened. Yes, every toilet stop involved ‘checking’ and still worry a bit now even tho feeling kicks and tumbles. I also avoided it for the mental anguish…it was bad enough when my dr couldnt find it at 14 weeks! Press delete, by time u read all the replies, your babies will be kicking away!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I would buy it… I was ready to invent it a few months ago remember? Clearly someone beat me to the punch.

    There’s pros and cons, which have already been stated above, so I won’t repeat them. I think either decision has the potential to drive you crazy… you just have to decide which will make you LESS crazy.

    Good luck 🙂

  • jebhow515 says:

    Super conflicted…I haven’t heard my baby/ies yet and one the days that I feel really good (ie normal) I am all freaked out that I am not longer pregnant. I might need to pee on a stick again just to reassure myself! I totally get it…but I know I would become obsessive! 😉

  • Libby says:

    I had one, and at first I was terrified when I couldn’t find her, then later on it was reassuring, mostly. Even when I could feel her move I liked to listen in, and if she wasn’t moving much it was good for reassurance. But, yep, it can drive you to insanity if you can’t hear them early on. Hmm, guess that just gives your points back to you and doesn’t help much… I say overall, yes. I’d send you mine if transatlantic shipping is cheaper than buying one…

  • nonsequiturchica says:

    Delete from cart. I went to my OB appt around 10 weeks or so and once I saw my doctor have a problem finding a heartbeat, I knew that I shouldn’t buy one. She was the professional…what made me think that I could do it myself?

    My friend who had twins decided not to get a Doppler because it would be too hard to find both heartbeats.

    Ultimately, it is up to you.

  • JustMe says:

    I’m behind the times here, so I’ll just ask…what did you do? I also didn’t get one for the reasons many mentioned above. Even the other day at an appt, I watched them having a hard time finding his heartbeat on the fetal stethoscope (of course, they later found it easily with a doppler), but basically, it’s not always easy to do due to placenta placement, baby position, etc. And you have TWO, which could be that much harder. I just decided to do the hard thing, and trust. Before you know it, you’ll have movement to reassure you.

  • I say proceed with caution. 🙂 Try not to get upset if you can’t hear them yet.

  • sarah says:

    Late to the internet-impulse-buying party here, but curious, what did you decide? I definitely went back and forth on this one, hard core. With a husband for a doctor, I figured what could go wrong? But the more I read, and the more I obsessed, I decided that having another instrument of obsession/worry around was not what I needed and I slowly backed away from my amazon shopping cart… ha. (FWIW, I totally could have gone the other way. On the other hand, after about 14 weeks, my utter terror dramatically subsided…)

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