Would you choose to have twins?

October 17, 2013 § 17 Comments

As I sit here with my dissertation proposal powerpoint slides in front of me, fretting over my preparedness for my 4pm meeting with my committee, I moseyed on over to one of the twin forums I sometimes peek at when I am in desperate need for a distraction.

This was the first thing I saw:

http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12094273/would-you-choose-to-have-twins#latest

I thought oh, nice! a feel good find! fully expecting to be hit with positivity and love and reassurance.Β 

But, nope.

Out of 22 responses, only THREE twin moms said they would choose to have twins if they had a choice.

Of course, they all say that they love their children and they wouldn’t change their situation now, but had they known what they were getting into and had they had an option, they would not have picked the box with two balloons.

Um. Not exactly the positive, mindless web-surfing I was hoping for. Google strikes again. Ouch.

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§ 17 Responses to Would you choose to have twins?

  • jesselyn6585 says:

    Granted I don’t have children, and I’ve only helped raise my nephews but I would love to have twins. My sister would have been one of the 3 who said yes if she were still alive. While she had financial troubles with an unplanned pregnancy resulting in twins, those boys made her so happy. She always said the blessing outweighed the troubles.

  • barrenbetty says:

    Maybe it’s just the whingy pants that go onto forums? My friend has twin baby girls and they a lovely. I’d love twins (or, err, any babies?). Ignore them… they are WRONG! xx

    P.s. If they are right, send one in the post to me πŸ˜‰

  • lydiaseeks says:

    I just glanced at the link, but it seems like a lot of those people are juggling older children in addition to risking or having young twins. My brother and his wife have twins (after 5 years of IF and two rounds of IVF, the second of which lead to b/g twins) and while they can be a challenge, there are also AWESOME rewards. Like the fact that they keep each other occupied here and there. That started when they were babies, Mom could leave the room with the two of them staring at each other and no one would fuss. You will already be well aware of the hard parts before they come, but the good parts will reveal themselves to you once they’re here. My niece and nephew just turned four and it is without a doubt totally wonderful that they are the same age. They play together, they stick up for each other at school (so adorable to watch), and they just ADORE each other so completely. Yes, they also still drive each other bonkers and crazy, but that’s any siblings I think. My bro and SIL are totally happy and were so relieved that their family building was done. All that is to say that if I had a choice, after TTC and failing for 2.5 years, I would absolutely choose to have twins. For you, having two will always just seem like the way it is and you won’t be able to imagine how people only have one at a time. At least that’s what my SIL says…hang in there!

  • Yikes. I will just say, I have a good friend with twins and she always said the first year was a little rough, but you have two boobs, two hips, and two arms and it is totally doable. Her girls are now 10 and she loves that they are twins and have always had each other. It will be awesome. πŸ™‚

  • Steph Mignon says:

    Lentil, I too find myself on eye-opening (and sometimes depressing) message boards from time to time. Often I wish I had just worked on my book instead or any other number of productive things I should have been doing instead. But sometimes you just have to Google shit. Recently I asked my birth club on baby center if labor is really THAT bad. I got 93 responses ranging from “worst experience in my entire life” to “nah, it was fine.” Needless to say I was momentarily terrified, but then I remembered that I’m in a different body, with a different baby, and a different support system. My experience may be far better or worse, but I’m determined for it to be better (not sure how yet!). As for the twins thing, you’re different then them too Lentil. So far, if your blog is any indicator, you’ve had a wonderfully healthy pregnancy. And you’ve already started preparing for a 4-person family by buying your P.I.M.P. mobile. You’ll probably continue to research and read all you can about being the best twin mommy you can be! I personally think your twin experience is going to be amazing! Will it be challenging? Absolutely. Will if stress you out at times? Of course. We’re both first time moms with a lot to learn. You’ll just have two instead of one to learn about, but you’re a smart, able cookie.

    Last night, I had dinner (that I proceeded to yak up when I got home) with two law school colleagues. One of them just had twins in August (well his girlfriend did). My biggest question was, “How does she nurse two babies!?” To which he replied, “Easy! She’s got this doughnut thing she wraps around her waste and tucks them into.” Now I didn’t get her perspective, and only his, but I can tell you this as well: He’s a twin too and his brother is his best friend in the whole entire world. He’s so totally thrilled that his sons get to share that bond and said that any of the hard work has been totally worth it! He said they’d do it again if they could.

    How’s that for a long comment!? haha

  • jebhow515 says:

    That is ridiculous. There are SOOOOO many benefits to having twins. I personally wouldn’t want to do it as a single mom, but I simply adore my niece and nephew…and if I had to do it…I would happily. When they were babies they used to laugh together on their blankets. Now they wake up in the morning and spend the first hour of every day playing with each other in their room. Twice the work…twice the FUN!

  • WombforAnother says:

    A friend of mine has two sets of twins and whilst life with so many children can sometimes be hard, she does say that she wouldn’t change them for the world.

  • dogsarentkids says:

    The only reason I would say I wouldn’t choose it, is for medical reasons. Twins are often born premature and more delicate health-wise when they are born. There is a higher risk of complications. That is the ONLY thing that would outweigh my decision. Other than that, I would love twins and welcome them if I do get pregnant and happen to have 2 (or more).

  • Kimberly says:

    ahh twins. Apparently I am growing them now!

    Here is why I am frightened:
    – Low birth weight?
    -Preterm birth?
    -Gestational diabetes?
    – Preclampsia?

    Here is why I am pumped!
    – TWO BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    -100% biological siblings – 1/2 husband, 1/2 egg donor
    – Did I mention I get 2 babies!!!!!!!!

    If I could guarentee that they would come at term, they would be healthy, and I would be healthy, I would be 100% ecstatic. Instead, I am 75% pumped and 25% scared!

  • K says:

    My twins are tough to handle. I won’t sugar coat that. But I love them so much. I’d definitely choose to have them both if I could rewind time. I love a good challenge though. I don’t get much sleep, and sometimes when one is an angel and goes right back to sleep while the other screams his head off, I think “wow, one must be so easy”. But I still wouldn’t change anything. I love these two babies so much even when they scream and I’m exhausted. πŸ™‚

  • Daryl says:

    My husband is dying to have twins. He was actually disappointed when we found out we were only having one. I hope the next time around we will end up with two, even though I’m aware of the possible complications and the hard work involved in taking care of two newborns/infants/toddlers at the same time. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, though. Would you change this pregnancy if you could?

  • Amanda says:

    If I had the choice, I think a big part of me always dreamt and wanted twins. I know it is a lot of work, but I also know people do it.
    Have you read http://www.peoniesandpolaroids.com ? She has the sweetest, most hilarious twins girls (also after dealing with some very difficult stuff and IVF) and though there are difficult moments, I think they are doing great.

    Also, after 3 years of unexplained infertility and finally being pregnant (through ICSI), we feel so happy and blessed, but there is always the fear / knowledge that we will most probably have to go through treatmeants / uncertainty / fear for our second child all over again. And with twins, well, you get your almost complete family (if you want 2 kids) in one go, no more months of desperation, and what ifs, and… emotional pain/ rollercoasters …..

  • Amber says:

    I would absolutely choose to have twins. We’ve both always thought it would be fun to have twins, but really, I never wanted an only child. I would have taken one at this stage of course, but I am so thankful for being able to have two and a complete family. Not that being an only child is bad, it’s just not what we dreamed of for us. The only thing that truly terrifies me is the higher risk pregnancy. Although, at 24 weeks, things seem to be going really good so far. There is a lady at work that had twins. They are full grown adults now, but this lady told me it was absolutely the best thing she ever did. She loved having twins.

  • I’ll admit I was panicked when I found out I was having twins but the pregnancy has been so easy (so far, knock on wood) and the planning has been a lot of fun. Granted, I don’t have them yet but I’m looking forward to it. I had a horrible dream at 20-something weeks that I lost both babies and I was mourning the loss of “twins” almost as much as the babies themselves. All that to say, I wouldn’t have asked for twins before I got pregnant but I’m thrilled now and definitely would choose twins. (I reserve the right to change my mind once they’ve arrived though!)

  • redbluebird says:

    I’d want twins! I’m sure I’d be worried about the possible complications, but hey– I’m worried with one anyway!
    It’s obviously more work to have two newborns at once, but once they get a little older, it can’t be much different than just having two kids close in age. I guarantee the tough early days will be worth it.
    And like others have said, I’d love to have an immediate sibling for my baby. After struggling to have one, who knows if a sibling will really be an option?
    Don’t listen to the haters. But, you can probably Google some good time/sanity saving tips from other moms of twins/multiples.

  • JenS says:

    I would choose to have twins. I knew I was signing up for that possibility when I transferred 3 embryos and I was excited for that. I wanted 2 kids and kind of thought twins might be my only shot at that. Before my 1st u/s, I was worried about triplets so twins was actually a relief πŸ™‚
    I was worried about the pregnancy complications and, unfortunately, ended up having some, but I still ended up with two healthy babies. It’s been super exhausting and they are a lot of work and we will definitely face different challenges, but we also have 2 adorable babies to snuggle. It will all be worth it in the end.

  • Unprolific says:

    So I joined the expecting twins club today. Still so early- only 6 weeks 2 days but I am happy and excited but scared and can’t quite wrap my brain around it at the same time. I look forward to hearing about the rest of your journey and any advice you can provide. It is such a blessing but a scary blessing nonetheless. I think we will both figure it out though… I hope so at least! πŸ™‚

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